#World Teen Mental Health Day is March 2, 2020
Our teens today seem to be dealing with a lot more stressors than we did when we were kids. Technology and social media seem to be the main culprits contributing to online bullying, pornography, and challenges that encourage risky and dangerous behaviors. But what's a parent to do when cell phones, laptops, and tablets are almost a requirement in this day and age?
We definitely need to be monitoring our teen's electronics more closely, as well as having locks on them until appropriate usage times. But, as a parent, I don't always do this, and can't always monitor like I wish I could. And teens these days have figured out ways around blocks, or monitoring apps. It is still vital that we pay close attention to our teens to figure out what, if anything may be going on in their lives. Here are some signs to be aware of so that we can catch if our teen's mental health is declining.
- Grades slipping- your once straight-A student is now failing many of her classes. Watch your child's grades. Even if they are low-C students, their grades will be impacted if their mental health is impacted.
- Difficulty concentrating or often confused- stress can impact the brain's ability to think well. I know that when I am overstressed, I can't make a decision to save my life. Our teens get this way too.
- Feeling overly sad, excessive fear or worrying- Our teens are constantly being battered with do this, be that, do more, be more. It can become so overwhelming and depression and anxiety can take hold.
- Long periods of irritability and/or frequent mood changes- Yes, it seems as if these are a normal part of the teen years, and for the most part they are. However, there is a fine line of normal, and warning signs. If your teen seems even more moody or irritable than usual, something is probably impacting them negatively.
- Eating/ Sleeping too much or not enough- again, this seems like how teens just are, but when things change drastically, there is usually a culprit other than growth spurts and illness.
- Complaining of physical ailments that seem to come out of nowhere, and have no cause- This one is so imperative. I missed this with our daughter. She used to complain of her stomach hurting all the time. We took her to the doctor with no answers. We failed to realize that she was experiencing anxiety. So many battles we had that could have been avoided if I had paid attention.
- Substance Abuse- if you are seeing some of the signs above, they could be signs of substance abuse. Substance abuse is often a way of masking something very painful that is happening.
- Suicidal Ideation/ Thoughts/ Attempts- We never want our children to get to this point. EVER! If you see any of these signs, get help immediately. Don't wait, thinking they are just trying to get attention. If they are doing this for attention, then give them the attention they are needing, so this is not what they feel they need to resort to.
As a parent, it can often feel much easier to let the cranky teen stay in their room so as not to upset the peaceful balance in the home. Can I offer some suggestions that will help encourage and lift your teen's mental health?
- Spend time with your teen- this may be a no-brainer, but it can also feel uncomfortable. Try connecting by asking to play a video game with them. Have them teach you how to play. You will both laugh together with each mistake you make, but more importantly, a connection is forming.
- Catch them having a positive attitude and compliment them on it. They will realize that you are noticing good things in them, and they will want to do more.
- Make sure they are eating and sleeping well. Science tells us that if our body is not nourished properly, and we have not gotten enough sleep, or mental health will decline.
- Make activity a family affair and encourage your teen to join in. Even let them choose the activity.
- Encourage your child to talk about what is going on in their world. When they do, LISTEN. Don't talk. Just listen. Offer encouragement, advice, etc only if they ask for it. Sometimes they just need a space to vent out all that has been stuffed inside.
Never hesitate to seek outside help. This can be a youth group leader, a trusted teacher, Pastor, or an actual therapist. Therapy is a good tool even if things are going great. And remember, these years will pass, and as challenging as they may currently be, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
~ Trish
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